It was not long after being at home full time that I began having doubts about our choice. There was so much going on in the world and I felt that being "just a mom" gave me no influence. I knew this was not true, but yet I let myself believe it and lost some of my joy.
In September and October I had some reflective moments and realized that I had forgotten to dream. When I closed my eyes and thought about how I desired my future to look, feel, taste, smell, and sound, there was one word that kept coming to me: home. At the core of my dreams was the home and family my husband and I were building. And then later in the year, I stumbled across a quote scribbled in a notebook and broke down in tears.
My heart felt like it could burst. For as long as I can remember I have felt conflicted with wanting to do something big, something that would change the world, and wanting to create a beautiful, loving home. And here was my answer to all the turmoil, doubt, and discontent. I was doing exactly what I was called to do and it fulfilled my deepest desires. God is so good!
I have chosen a word of the year for the past few years and I will be honest at first I thought, This is it! I have my word. It is HOME! 2017 would be the year I focused on my home and growing there. Small home improvements, daily routines, meal planning, deep cleaning...those would be my focus.
Well, all of this is still true, but the Spirit nudged me a little further.
My past words have all been virtues and that was something I wanted to continue. I wanted it to be an adjective that I could use to describe my life; a word that would describe my home. As I ruminated over all these little moments of reflection a sense overwhelmed me and I knew that was the word to which 2017 would be dedicated. I just had to swap out a letter and I had it!
And the sense of hope I felt called to is summarized by a quote from one of my favorite Theologians.
"The one who has hope lives differently." Yes, 2017 will be a year lived differently.
For me that is getting dressed in the morning even though we're staying home, planning healthy meals, daily routines, cleaning and decorating the house, playing with the baby, praying for the grit and grace to see it through, and intentionally living this beautiful life I've been given. My differently may look pretty darn ordinary to the outside world, but that ordinary is extraordinary and fills my life with love, laughter, and hope.
What is your word/resolution for 2017?
January Goals & Recap:
- Weekly Meal Planning
- Get active!
How about you? Do you make goals? If so I would love for you to join Christina and I for With Grit and Grace where we focus on supporting each other as we work towards our goals!
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