Building a Home with Your Husband - Part of the What I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married Series
When my husband and I got married over 5 years ago, I thought I knew everything. I'm sure 10 years down the road, I will laugh at the things I think that I know now. I could write for pages about preparing for children, fighting fairly or balancing family visits. They are all great topics and all ones I learned after failing at them--isn't that how it always goes?
Despite all of that, one of the biggest things that shocked me in marriage was that my husband would have an opinion on how our home was decorated. It sounds so simple to me now, but I had always thought that there was no way a man could really care about curtains or bedding. I had dreams of exactly how I wanted my home to look. I quickly realized they did not necessarily match up with what my husband liked in a home. There was a part of me that wanted to just go ahead with my tastes, but I didn't want my husband to feel uncomfortable in his own home. Compromise became the name of the game. That said, it doesn't come easy, so here are a few tips for all the soon-to-be weds and newly weds out there.
1) Decide on a color palate the two of you agree on.
Say you are all about the neutrals but your husband loves dark, bold colors. Perhaps agreeing on a white, beige and navy palate would satisfy both of you. The neutrals can flow through the home with bold accents that appeal to both parties.
2) Don't force compromise on everything.
If your husband really wants something you find ridiculous, do what you can to include it. Maybe you can draw the line at the neon bar signs in your formal dining room, but use your judgement and pick your battles. Remember that this is his home too. You may hate that map of his home state, but he just may hate that floral bedspread too. Pick your battles!
3) Start slow.
It's hard to go slow when you're first moving in together because you want everything decorated as soon as possible. You want to make your place your home as soon as possible. Resist the urge to overdo it. Go slow and build your home together, adding memories as they come. Taking the extra time will allow you to find a style together, one that you can truly love and feel at home with.
I hope these simple tips can help ease both of you into a routine of building your own home style together. It is such a wonderful thing to come together and create a home with the person you love. Don't let it become a source of bitterness for either of you. Your new marriage is new, fun and full of love, just as your first home should be.
Caitlyn is an amateur housewife to her philosopher husband and a mediocre mama of two. She likes to run slow, pretend her garden is a homestead and sew. Until the day when she can efficiently manage to balance laundry and the dishes with play groups and date nights, she gets by with a little extra coffee and a whole lot of grace. Caitlyn blogs at Harvesting Home.